Be careful with this guy + Vent.

5 min read

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evil-bloody-angel's avatar
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Going to delete this soon btw.

I have to get this shit out right now.
About my ex,it's not your thing that you should know but agh.
So. We had our stuff and yea. I only dumped her once,the last time. She did it always before that. But I wanted her back and she took me. Always. I was blind to see that it didn't work. I got my heart broken many times. But noo. Sometimes she ignored me,for no reason ( ? ) Once it took week. And once we meant to see,but she didn't answer to me so I waited her there and was worried. Later she told that she didnt have money to come and see me.
I started to scare and be really jealous about her. I was scared that she was going to dump me again. She dumped me cause of her shitty reasons. Once I went crazy cause all my feelings. I cutted really bad and ambulance visited our home at night. I went to mental hospital. After that we go together again,on xmas day.
But this last time was the worst. She met someone online who was better person that I could be. And prettier and smarter.Also thanks to my bad depression and cutting I couldn't handle my feelings. I had morbid jealousy and I started to stalk stuff. I find out alot of things that hurted me. I cried every fucking night and cutting started to be only way to control my feelings little. I vented about stuff to my friends and when they tried to help me,she just tought I put them attack on her. They did that cause they were so worried,and she did wrong. I did alot wrong stuff too and I wish I could change them. Our trust wasn't much. But that little trust we had died after she and that another girl started to talk more and more,and tell how they loved each other. She didn't tell loving me back anymore so often.
And she didn't even comment to my lovey dovey pics to her,but when it was that another girl she commented always. On valentines I had card and gift to her,I was going to travel there to see her soon. But when I saw something that she drew for that another girl ( homohelvetti.deviantart.com/ar… )...and told that she loves her the most...I just. I felt really bad. I runned to toilet from lesson and cried there. I called my mom to take me home. When I was home I cutted. And on that day couple my old friends attacked her cause they stalked her stuff too. They told me that it was wrong to treat people like that but she just got angry.
People who tell her the truth, are just kids who dont know anything she says.
Next morning,my friends told I had to dump her. I was so angry at her so I did it. I was scared to see her answer. But that was it. After that I felt bad and I wanted her back ofcourse. But I was too scared to ask her back. And she hated me then,so I didnt wanna talk to her. About week after that we talked things nicely again. She told she was daiting that girl who was online,and she only cared.
After hearing this I started to cry and shout. I shouted and my parents came to ask why Im shouting. I pushed them away. I called my ex when I was so angry,I was going to shout to phone but when I heard her voice I just couldnt. After call I cutted again. It was worsest night I ever had. I started to hate my ex after everything this,and that she blamed only me. She was angry ofc cause I was so mean back to her about how she treated me,and about her new gf.
Later I blocked her so I could try to get over her. But no. People talk about her all the time and I keep crying. It's been over 2 months now and I havent gotten over. I'm trying really hard,and it takes time to get better after that shit.
She have also lied to couple other persons. I talked to them today and they heard new things about her. Like I did. She kept telling only those nice things about her,but she never could tell me her illness. She also left her best friend for that another girl online. Also lied her ex best friend that she was guy,and else shit. She told me that her best friend hated me,but really her bestie didnt hate me. Later I found that out too. Also some things too,that she never told herself.
Maybe this all is happened cause of her sickness or something,I dunno whats going on. I cant say that I dont hate her anymore but I hope she can get better someday,and know what she has done.
I just want to warn you guys,and I needed to vent somewhere. I'm really tired and messy feelings here so forgive me. Also there might be alot typos.
Just be careful with her.
I don't care if you all fans love her and are going to hate me after this. I'm just done with everything now.
K,thanks,bye.

ps. No need to attack on her
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maqqot's avatar
oh god what kind of asshole am i? i didn't see this im so sorry.
but if you need someone to talk to, im here for you.
:iconlazycryplz: